celestia:

once i had a dream that my cat was working at mcdonalds w/ me and she had a lil uniform and she kept getting fur in the fries and everyone was yelling at me and saying “ur cat sucks on fries” and i was like “shes just a cat give her a break!” and i woke up crying


dglsplsblg:

weatheredbatz:

On your left..

hahahaha.

this is rather sad.

(Source: bythepowercosmic)

molebucks:

lovely-dna:

molebucks:

treat me like a college textbook. spend lots of money on me but never touch or look at me

no. treat me like your favorite book. keep me by your side, touch my every page, learn all my twists and turns, remember every word I say, even the ones that make you cry

*4-second-long fart noise*

cuphaz:

when i was 14 my teacher made fun of my pimples in front of the whole class and my best friend was furious so whenever she saw the teacher she’s like “OH YOU GET NEW CRINKLES TODAY” “DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT COS APPARENTLY YOU DIDN’T” “HEY MA’AM IS THAT YOUR BUTT OR IS THAT YOUR BELLY THEY LOOK THE SAME” she got detention almost everyday even i told her to stop she still did it anyway if you dont know what golden friendship is this is


"And across the line!"

(Source: the-bloody-awful)